My favorite track from Adele - Set fire to the rain

Book review - Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

There was so much in this book that I related to strongly, having been through all kinds of relation*shit* in recent times. I found it heartbreaking, comforting and intriguing, all at the same time. Its not for everyone - in fact it has had some quite negative reviews particulartly from Eat Pray Love fans. But I couldn't put it down. I highly recommend it, particularly if you have been through a horrible divorce and you're coming out the other side a stronger calmer and happier person, not despite but because of the experience. What doesn't kill us :)

As in the New Yorker -
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2010/01/11/100111crbo_books_levy

Keeping things in perspective is not Gilbert’s strong suit. This is why she goes on so many trips and does so much information gathering: she wants to understand how her fellow-humans have resolved the issues that torment her.

So we should not be surprised that when Gilbert found herself on the verge of a second wedding, in a state of dread, she decided “to put a little effort into unraveling the mystery of what in the name of God and human history this befuddling, vexing, contradictory, and yet stubbornly enduring institution of marriage actually is.” She consulted books and scholars. She interviewed Hmong grandmothers in the mountains of Vietnam about their level of marital satisfaction. She went to see her grandmother. The result is Gilbert’s new book, a journey through domestic history and her own neuroses, “Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage”.
Gilbert had not intended to remarry. Both she and her gentleman friend Felipe — a Brazilian gem trader she met in Bali, who provided her with passion and adoration and a tidy romantic ending for “Eat, Pray, Love” — had been “so badly gutted” by their divorces that they “had sworn with all our hearts to never, ever, under any circumstances, marry.” But Felipe is not an American citizen. After one too many trips to the United States to visit Gilbert and to sell his rocks, Felipe was taken away in handcuffs from immigration control at the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, and told that he could not return to the U.S. unless he had an American wife. Gilbert, then, is “sentenced to marry,” and she’s none too pleased about it. “I felt mournful and sucker punched and heavy and banished from some fundamental aspect of my being,” she writes. “But most of all I felt caught.”

The divine Ecoya candles, one of my new favorite things

Ecoya candles are simply beautiful. I'm currently addicted to the Vanilla Bean travel tin, I love that I can take it anywhere I go and fill the room I'm in with its incredible scent. Makes me feel right at home, even on the other side of the world!

What makes Ecoya candles special is their soy wax (unlike the majority of candles which use traditional petroleum based paraffin) and 100% natural, lead-free cotton wicks. They are all natural, burning cleaner, longer and cooler.

The range includes Lotus Flower, Wild Frangipani, Vanilla Bean, Lemongrass & Ginger, Sweet Pea & Jasmine, French Pear, and Pink Champagne. But who can choose? I want all of them!

www.ecoya.co.nz

The Green Living Show & NZ Organic Expo next weekend

Sat 28th May 2011 – 11.00am – 6pm | Sun 29th May 2011 – 10.00am – 6pm
Alexandra Park Function Centre, Greenlane, Auckland, New Zealand

Clean, green New Zealand is where the organic and environment industry meet.

With the rise of the ethical consumer, more people are growing socially responsible, the consumer wants to know more about green living products and all things organic. Now is the time to use market power for good.

Green living and organic is good for business and green living and organic is good for the consumer.


Tickets are free, just register on their website (www.organicexpo.co.nz)

Gluten Free Food and Allergy Show - this weekend

The Gluten Free Food & Allergy Show is New Zealand's only exhibition dedicated to bringing you ideas and solutions for a wide range of allergy and intolerance issues.

At the show you will find products that cater to:

•Food allergies and intolerances such as - Coeliac, wheat, egg, lactose
•Airborne allergies and respiratory conditions - eg asthma, hayfever
•Skin conditions - such as eczema, psoriasis, chemical sensitivities
•Vegetarian, vegan, organic and other dietary requirements
Come along and meet the manufacturers of your favourite brands and find out which products best suit your needs. The teams from Coeliac NZ, Allergy NZ, Endometriosis NZ, and Asthma NZ will be there to answer your questions and provide practical advice.

There are free product samples to taste, great show specials to buy and an excellent seminar series to attend. Hear experts talk about the latest research! See the seminar page for a speaker timetable http://www.glutenallergy.co.nz/

Its being held at ASB Showgrounds this Saturday and Sunday 10am - 5pm, only $10 entry.

LIFE

If you're not a sleeping beauty

It's a problem for many of us, and we all need more of it! Try these tips

- Go to sleep when you’re tired It seems obvious, I know, but I regularly ignore yawns and think, “I’ll just do this first”.
- Get up at the same time each day This is more important than going to bed at a set time because it’s the time you wake up that resets your body clock to sleep that night
- Keep a sleep diary Note when you try to go to bed, when you fall asleep and what you eat and drink. - - Avoid TV and computers For at least an hour before you want to sleep. (More on this later.)
- Get out of bed if you’re awake for more than 15 minutes I’ve heard this before, but apparently you have to do something aside from TV, texting or going online. Doh.
- Make sure you’re not too hot - your body heats up during the night, so ditch the second layer. A room temperature of 15-20 degrees is ideal for inducing sleep.
- Make sure the room is dark and use earplugs if it’s noisy. Studies show unfamiliar noise during the first and last two hours of sleep can suppress immune function, even if you don’t wake up.

- Ignore worrying thoughts about not sleeping Instead, focus on the fact you’re getting some sleep – even if you don’t know it. A study by the US National Sleep Foundation found a third of the participants thought they’d slept for at least an hour less than their brain-wave activity indicated.

Modern problem?

Experts believe many cases of insomnia can be attributed to the three Ss: stress, stimulation and screens. Which pretty much sums up most people’s lives today. “Once, Thursday night shopping was a revelation – now you can do it 24/7… There’s far more stimulation,” says Dr Joffe. And long gone are the days where the only thing on TV after midnight was the test pattern. Facebooking or watching DVDs into the night won’t just overstimulate you, though – screens are sleep’s nemesis for a very scientific reason.

“TV, computers and car headlights all give our brains direct exposure to ‘blue light’,” says Osiecki.

“This specific light frequency (430-460 nm) suppresses the release of melatonin, the hormone that tells our body to sleep, and disrupts our circadian rhythm.”

Melatonin is released by the pineal gland from about 9pm to 7.30am, but blue light delays or shuts it down, making it harder to fall asleep. “Even light-emitting diodes (LEDs) on mobiles and digital alarm clocks disrupt sleep,” says Osiecki. Hence the strict ban on screens – big and small – before bed.

As for stress, if you’ve ever nodded off in front of the TV (or at the movies, or at your mother-in-law’s dinner table), only to find yourself completely awake when you go to bed, that’s a classic sign of stress-related insomnia, says Dr Bartlett.

“Women tend to upload everyone’s problems all day,” explains Dr Mansberg. “So when you stop and get into bed, your body and brain will decide to process it, and go ‘I forgot to call so-and-so...’” She says the old advice of taking paper and pen to bed still stands. The key is to actually action those night-time niggles you write down, “Then you’ll be able to relax.”

One thing that can banish both stress and insomnia is, you guessed it, exercise. “It’s vital for nixing depression and sleep issues,” says Dr Mansberg. “Traditionally, we’ve said to do it before 2pm so you don’t get an endorphin rush that keeps you up, but after work is better than not doing it at all.” Get out for a morning jog and you’ll be ticking off another important sleep tip – getting early morning light. Sunlight in the AM sets our sleep clock to doze off that evening, Dr Bartlett tells me. Light needs to pass through your eyes for your brain to register it. I decide to add a brisk morning walk to my “sleep hygiene” homework.

Sleeping on it

Of course, we can get by on little sleep – it’s just not pleasant. “Our survival needs are met in the first 90 minutes [of sleep], and our core needs after four to six hours,” says Dr Bartlett. A full sleep cycle takes about 90 minutes and it’s ideal to have five cycles a night – and that’s what I’m gunning for: the elusive eight hours. Yet researchers still don’t fully understand why getting proper sleep is so important. What they do know is that without any sleep we’d die. The University of Chicago, US, conducted a study in which rats were kept awake. After two weeks, none were left alive – that’s less time than it would take them to starve to death. Humans can last a bit longer: the lengthiest recorded period of being awake is 18 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes. The poor subject, 17-year-old American Randy Gardner, suffered hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration lapses. Not fun.

Where research has made headway is into how the different types of sleep can benefit us – in particular, the stage we’ve all heard of, REM (Rapid Eye Movement). “We know lot more about the biochemistry of our brain,” says Dr Joffe. “And the findings are that dreaming and REM sleep are crucial to the development of memory consolidation.” This makes forgetfulness and absent mindedness one of the first symptoms of sleep loss, as REM makes up about 25 per cent of our total sleep time. If you’re getting eight hours, that is. You have longer phases of REM during the later sleep cycles of the night (see diagram on p69), so people who only have, say, five hours’ sleep are missing out big time.

So don’t be fooled into thinking you’re someone who can run well on a short night. A study by the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, US, found that participants who thought they get by well on six or fewer hours have cognitive deficits, they were just too sleep-deprived to know it. Touché.

How you can look better in photos

It can be a bit tricky to look really good when getting your picture taken. Try these tips to be ready for your close-up:

Step 1
If you observe men and women standing naturally without ANY coaching, you’ll notice there is a BIG difference between how they stand. Women naturally shift weight to one foot. Doing so angles the body slightly, tips the shoulders a little, and angles the head just a bit. This stance immediately adds dimension to any photo, it looks more interesting and natural.
Men on the other hand, we tend to face squarely into the camera with weight evenly distributed on both feet. We have all seen the results, pictures that look stiff, unnatural, and very plain looking.
Here’s the solution.
If you are standing – turn slightly and rest your weight on one foot. It may FEEL goofy, but you WILL look better.
If you are sitting – angle to one side or the other.
Step 2
Lean slightly toward the camera. Leaning slightly toward the camera adds interest, dimension, and a natural look to a photo. Think of having a long neck like a gazelle, and tilt your chin down just a bit to avoid the appearance of a double chin and also to prevent the camera from getting a view right up your nostrils.
Step 3
Learn how to change your state. Changing state means going from level 1 to level 5, or in other words, instead of looking like you were caught off guard, you look natural and like you are enjoying yourself.
Models are taught to change state by developing a “trigger.” So when they are about to have their picture taken, even if they are in a crummy mood, they can go from level 1 to level 5 in a heart beat. Firing a trigger is a reminder to do the things that make you look good. Believe it or not, THE most successful trigger we found over the years was called the “rear cheek squeeze.” It’s really cool because it’s inconspicuous. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like; you squeeze the cheeks of your rear end together. Don’t make fun of it until you try it. To see it’s effectiveness try this experiment. Ask someone to sit on a chair and then ask them to squeeze their cheeks together. I have not met ONE person who doesn’t immediately smile and say something like, okay, now what?
Step 4
Learn to “¾ smile” People don’t like pictures of themselves with huge smiles. Smiling too big exposes gums and causes your eyes to turn into slits.
Step 5
Never look directly at the lens – ALWAYS, look slightly ABOVE the lens.
Here are some additional tips if you know you are going to have your photo taken and you have a little time to prepare.
1. If needed, use ‘teeth whitener’ to have pearly white teeth – it does make a difference. Plan ahead and give yourself enough time to brighten your smile. Get a teeth whitening kits at your local pharmacy.
2. Dress for timelessness – Stay away from patterns, go more for solids. Example: horizontal stripes will make you look heavy. Don’t wear red, black or white. Digital cameras sometimes have problems with red. Black and white offer too much contrast.